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The Fair and Lovely Prototype by Mahvish Bari
We have seen this phrase form headlines in matrimonial ads and bio datas, it is reiterated through verbal descriptions and demands via relatives, and is visually depicted in many mainstream South Asian fashion and bridal magazines. To escape this influence seems inevitable. It’s basically all over the place. Whether you are living in the eastern or western hemisphere, whether you are traditional or ‘modern,’ the socio-cultural pressure still remains constant. Although South Asian women in the United States have now become more highly educated and career-oriented than ever, they are still entrapped by society’s unrealistic expectations and silent but deadly physical norms. We have assimilated ourselves into Western society, yet still retained the portion of Eastern mentality which can be so damaging to a woman’s self worth and self-esteem. Let’s break this “tall, fair, and slim” requirement into thirds, and explore the assets one by one. Neelu is a second year medical student. She is extremely bright, ambitious, caring, outgoing, and sincere. Every morning she takes her golden retriever for a jog in the park, and comes home to shower and do her morning pooja. After spending all day in classes and seminars, she makes some time to volunteer for philanthropic projects and tutor first year students. Neelu is quite popular amongst her friends and family members, and is an overall wonderful human being. Yes, I know you got the point. So, what is wrong with this picture? Let me continue with Neelu’s daily routine. When she’s ready to call it a day, she takes her nightly bath. Every night, close to 11 p.m., she opens her medicine cabinet and takes out that beautiful, oh so feminine, lavender tube of “Fair and Lovely.” Yes, you heard me correctly: “Fair and Lovely.” I suppose because in the South Asian culture, fair equals lovely. Why is this so? I have a little humble, yet historically based theory about his. During the 200 years of British rule over the Indian Sub-continent, South Asians developed an inferiority complex. Because the majority of South Asians were tan, and their supposed “rulers” were very light-skinned, the “lighter” became the brighter, the superior, and the greater. Hence, fairness of one’s skin became associated with power, prestige, status, and eventually, beauty. That’s enough about my theory. Let’s go back and visit Neelu. With great concentration and consistency, she squirts a quarter size of the cream, and very carefully applies it to her tan face. She has noticed that some chemical in the cream is causing her skin to break out to a degree, and have an adverse reaction. She simply waives it as a minor adjustment effort on her skin, and continues use. Her phone rings, and it’s her mother, initiating their nightly phone conversation. Which now, is as routine as her Fair and Lovely use. She calls, mind you, coincidentally at Neelu’s bedtime, not to ask about her day, her academic progress, or even her health. She’s calling to remind her darling daughter to use the “Fair and Lovely” cream, so that she can look “presentable” to the potential in-laws coming to see her that weekend. Now, I have a hard-core social science academic background, with minimal physiology, hence my knowledge is limited so please excuse any ignorance. But as far as I know, skin color is merely determined by genetics, physiology, and the climate, to some extent, of one’s immediate environment. Even if one resorts to chemical peeling or lightening treatments, there is virtually no way to alter one’s skin color, in its true genetic composition. Yet, Neelu, who is a medical student, far brighter than most people in regards to biological tendencies, still resorts to such topical treatment methods, knowing that they may be counter-effective. Many South Asian women like Neelu suffer silently through these socio-cultural pressures to be fair. Unfortunately, we live in a society where men are recognized by their education, career success, and worldly accomplishments; whereas women are still identified by their physical attributes, beauty, and aesthetic appeal. Even Bollywood did not accept dark beauties until very recently. Some of India’s highest ranking actresses, Kajol, Biphasha Basu, and Rani Mukherjee, have tan coloring. This phenomenon is not exclusive to South Asian. In many Hispanic and African-American communities, the “lighter shade of brown” is still preferred within one’s own race. There are many interracial prejudices regarding jobs, marital choices, and fundamental standards of attractiveness, which revolve around the coloring of the skin. For example, many African-Americans who are of a mocha tone, will refuse to date other African-Americans who are of a much darker hue. Many Hispanics who originate from Spain will get offended if someone accidentally refers to them as Mexican. This is not only because the Spanish are of European descent, and Mexicans have more Native American heritage, but because the Spanish have much lighter coloring. Yes, due to the European ancestry. But this fair skin is also equated with a higher social status and worldly prestige. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, but when a woman is bombarded by media images and socio-cultural messages that fair equals lovely, her self-worth and self-esteem suffers at a great risk. The next category is height. I will not spend too much time nor energy on this topic, as it’s self-explanatory, with minimal historical or social interpretations. Ironically, height is another physical attribute, which a woman cannot control nor make amends to. Height is influenced by genetics, physical structure, and to a small extent, diet. But, that is it. However, what we cannot physiologically alter, we can visually distort. From the early age of 10 and 11, many women are trained to wear high heels. Heels, when worn for extensive periods of time, over a duration of many continuous years, are a proven cause for back, knee and posture problems in women. But we as women must make fashion statements, no matter what the pain factor. Unfortunately, most tasteful, designer shoes are created with one to three inch heels as a minimum. South Asian women have to invest in heels and torture themselves to an even greater extent, as their average height ranges from 5’2” to 5’4.” Many of my girlfriends have abused their feet with blisters, corns, and pinched vessels and nerves, due to wearing uncomfortable shoes. Only, with the mere incentive to appear taller, and more attractive. Let’s transition to the most widely debated and academically researched physical attribute: weight. Western perceptions of the most desirable body type for women have shown considerable change over the past decades. The early 1950’s and 1960’s appreciated more wholesome and full-figured women, and considered them attractive. By the mid 1970’s, western culture was increasingly embracing the tube-like silhouette as the ideal feminine body type. Objective measures of the cultural ideals of beauty, such as beauty queens and fashion magazine models have confirmed this trend. This increased preference for skeletal silhouettes, a body type that many researchers have described as both unhealthy and unobtainable by many women, has been paralleled by women’s decreasing satisfaction with their bodies, increasing concerns with weight loss, and a large increase in eating disorder symptomatology. Women as a group, are more dissatisfied with their bodies than are men. Women’s dissatisfaction with their bodies has shown a marked increase in the last 25 years. It seems likely that this dissatisfaction is one of the many complex factors contributing to the much higher incidence of eating disorders in women. During my last visit to Pakistan, I noticed the extreme growth and visibility of slimming parlors, and herbal treatment clinics. I would see women go in, and come out with cases of herbal water. Supposedly, starvation, in addition to drinking this water, is the key to losing weight. Even the most educated and brightest women in Pakistan are ignoring what common sense and medical journals tell them. The proper and healthy way to lose weight is simply a balanced diet and consistent exercise. The pressure to be “thin” is nothing new for the South Asian woman, who has be the epitome of femininity. It comes with the territory. What is interesting, is the direct relation between media exposure and eating disorder symptomatology. This effect supports the assertion that exposure to the media-portrayed thin ideal is related to eating pathology and suggests that women may directly model disordered eating behavior presented in the media (i.e. fasting and purging). Internalization of socio-cultural pressures overall have a strong and adverse effect on the self realization of South Asian women. When we begin to get recognized for our academic achievements, career accomplishments, personality attributes, and worldly accomplishments, and not by our aesthetic appeal, only then will be able to break the barriers of this socio-cultural glass ceiling. The true essence of a woman is indeed robbed, when she is depicted and identified as a sexual and erotic object, and identified by her physical attributes. We, as the next generation of South Asian women, must only make amends to please ourselves, and live up to our own standards, not anybody else’s. Society will always set and change its norms of what is considered attractive and acceptable. But only when we come to terms with our own individual identities, improving on things we can change, and having the courage to accept what we cannot change, will we be at peace with our true being. |
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